We've officially entered the “-BER” months.

September. October. November. December.

Four glorious months filled with falling leaves, pumpkin spice, Halloween costumes, Thanksgiving food, Christmas decorations... and your sister-in-law reminding everyone that pumpkin spice season is NOT a personality trait.

But there's a problem.

These four months have 30, 31, 30 and 31 days.

And apparently, that's just too complicated for some of us.

Someone on social media has proposed a solution: Get rid of all the different month lengths and create five equal months of 73 days.

The new calendar would feature:

Jebruary
Mapril
Jaugust
Soctober
Necember

Problem solved!

Except... congratulations, your birthday is now Jaugust 43rd.

And then there's leap year, which presumably means we have to create Jaugust 74th, because apparently we've decided calendars should now operate like a software update nobody asked for.

The post went viral, picking up around 40,000 likes and comments, plus even more attention from people sharing it.

And naturally, the internet had opinions.

One person suggested 13 months of 28 days, which gives us 364 days, with New Year's Day becoming a special bonus day.

Honestly, that sounds pretty good.

Another suggested going with an ancient Egyptian-style system: 12 months of 30 days, followed by five or six special holiday days.

Then someone pointed out the obvious problem with the 73-day months:

“Living through a 73-day Jaugust would finish people.”

They're probably right.

Imagine being told it's still August when you've already experienced three birthdays, two weddings, a heat wave, a broken air conditioner and the emotional collapse of your fantasy football team.

Someone else said:

“My birthday is now Jaugust 43rd.”

And another declared:

“I was born in Soctober.”

Which sounds less like a birthday and more like the name of a band that plays at a coffee shop.

Then came the astrology crowd.

One person complained that we'd have to redo the entire zodiac system.

Someone else said maybe they'd finally get to be a Virgo instead of a Taurus.

That's right. We're potentially redesigning civilization because someone doesn't like their horoscope.

And don't even get us started on paychecks.

People pointed out that monthly pay schedules would have to be completely reworked.

Although one person had the perfect response:

“And rent due once a month still.”

Exactly.

Congratulations! Your month is now 73 days long, but your landlord still wants the same check every month.

Then someone went completely off the rails and suggested eliminating months altogether.

Just count the days:

Day 1. Day 2. Day 3... all the way to Day 365.

No more confusion about whether June has 30 days or whether November has 30.

Although your anniversary would now be:

“Happy 2,847th day together!”

Very romantic.

And then there was perhaps the greatest observation of all:

“Jebruary sounds like a trendy girl name in Utah.”

You know what?

It absolutely does.

“Everyone, meet Jebruary. She's majoring in communications and has a podcast about wellness.”

The best response may have been the person who simply said:

“Reading this made me realize that I'm not using my brain to its full potential.”

And honestly, same.

The internet seems pretty evenly divided between:

“This is a terrible idea.”

and

“This is a terrible idea... I love it.”

So, Mid-Michigan, let's settle this once and for all:

Would you switch to the five-month calendar?

Would you happily live through a 73-day Jaugust, celebrate your birthday in Soctober, and pay rent once every 73 days?

Or should we just leave the calendar alone and accept that September has 30 days because... well, that's just how we've been doing it for thousands of years?

Personally, I'm voting to keep the calendar.

Mostly because I'm not emotionally prepared for 73 straight days of August.